I'm beginning to suspect that, despite my best intentions to the contrary, I'm becoming a *grumpy*old*man*.
Never wanted to be one, I see them on the road all the time, shoulders up around their ears, scowling. See them in the stores acting disappointed that I stopped and let them have right-of-way in the aisle/parking lot/whatever and dashed their expectation of me.
No, I was going to be the easy-going, smiling, relaxed, world-by-the-ass senior you associate with gracefully aging movie stars (think Robert whats-his-name that was a charming jewel thief in a tv series in the early '70s and now is the occasional Tony DiNozo's dad on NCIS).
But when I caught myself thinking there ought to be a name for the shit you say after you hang up the phone or under your breath walking away from a conversation, I had to own up to a bit of g.o.m.-ness. They usually aren't nice, either. Here are a few of mine:
"Shut up Bob" - to the radio, 92.5 "the river" afternoon dj, talking after a song
"and hurry the @#$ up" - my manager to me after he tells me what he wants
"Bitch!" - me to all sorts of people, male/female/indeterminate/imaginary
You get the idea. At least, if you have any snipe in you, you do. If you can't relate at all, congratulations. I want to grow up to be just like you [bitch].
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
wicked bad poetry
April, late morning in the sun
I stand outside the back door at work smoking
Chemical fertilizer in the office park air
I fart - self defense?
Cigarette half gone, I turn to face inward, hoping
to balance hair lightening and sunburn evenly
I contemplate my pointless vanity and the fact that
I now face into someone's window I don't know.
Sighing, I climb the stairs to my office to once again
become the desk monkey manipulating arcane network
simulation files
Out of the sun, in the a/c, thinking of farming instead
Life? Half-life? Money. Shit.
I stand outside the back door at work smoking
Chemical fertilizer in the office park air
I fart - self defense?
Cigarette half gone, I turn to face inward, hoping
to balance hair lightening and sunburn evenly
I contemplate my pointless vanity and the fact that
I now face into someone's window I don't know.
Sighing, I climb the stairs to my office to once again
become the desk monkey manipulating arcane network
simulation files
Out of the sun, in the a/c, thinking of farming instead
Life? Half-life? Money. Shit.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Just Works
Twinges of something coloring my thinking. Thoughts of social justice in the economic sphere.
I'm a good capitalist and dyed-in-the-wool American (US variety). My dad explained how it all works to me as a child, and impressed me with the need for education, ambition, skill development and all I'd need to survive in the USA ca. 1960's.
I internalized that along with what I was taught in history (flunked the course, got the content), and in college, I saw how economics works. There, a one-sentence disclaimer about our economic system emerged, something about how there are winners and losers in the system and how our economic principles don't provide for those unable to compete successfully.
Back then and before, a Judeo-Christian ethic was also taught to many of us as a value system to encourage moral behavior. It still exists, I'm sure, but doesn't seem as prominent in the public discourse (to me - maybe I just listen to the wrong people). This ethic of love your neighbor and help those who need it, I believed, would help compensate for the deficiencies in the economic system. But if that goes missing, then what?
The 80's "me decade" was decried, but apparently not just an abberation. The hippie ethos of the sixties and seventies largely evaporated, and it seems corporate responsibility has gone with it.
The expectation of it isn't there in today's populace - we've given in and watched jobs, retirement benefits, social safety nets and such be replaced with "I've got mine", multimillion-dollar CEO compensation and government by business expediency via PAC contribution. Unions have greeded themselves out of business, and if you don't like the status quo you better f'ing shut the hell up about it you pinko terrorist SOB and get back to work.
Does your church encourage social activism? Does your conscience? Is there even a prayer of fighting to restore what Joe Workingman and the less fortunate have missed out on? My warm fuzzies are fewer and farther between and big media, big box stores, consumer-driven economy and a lot of other stuff have taken root in my consciousness instead.
There are voices in the wilderness talking about it, though. I think I'll try listening to them and focusing on my brother a bit more. All you need is love. Love is the Answer. Cmon people now - sing a corny song and give yourself a break. Anybody up for starting a commune?
I'm a good capitalist and dyed-in-the-wool American (US variety). My dad explained how it all works to me as a child, and impressed me with the need for education, ambition, skill development and all I'd need to survive in the USA ca. 1960's.
I internalized that along with what I was taught in history (flunked the course, got the content), and in college, I saw how economics works. There, a one-sentence disclaimer about our economic system emerged, something about how there are winners and losers in the system and how our economic principles don't provide for those unable to compete successfully.
Back then and before, a Judeo-Christian ethic was also taught to many of us as a value system to encourage moral behavior. It still exists, I'm sure, but doesn't seem as prominent in the public discourse (to me - maybe I just listen to the wrong people). This ethic of love your neighbor and help those who need it, I believed, would help compensate for the deficiencies in the economic system. But if that goes missing, then what?
The 80's "me decade" was decried, but apparently not just an abberation. The hippie ethos of the sixties and seventies largely evaporated, and it seems corporate responsibility has gone with it.
The expectation of it isn't there in today's populace - we've given in and watched jobs, retirement benefits, social safety nets and such be replaced with "I've got mine", multimillion-dollar CEO compensation and government by business expediency via PAC contribution. Unions have greeded themselves out of business, and if you don't like the status quo you better f'ing shut the hell up about it you pinko terrorist SOB and get back to work.
Does your church encourage social activism? Does your conscience? Is there even a prayer of fighting to restore what Joe Workingman and the less fortunate have missed out on? My warm fuzzies are fewer and farther between and big media, big box stores, consumer-driven economy and a lot of other stuff have taken root in my consciousness instead.
There are voices in the wilderness talking about it, though. I think I'll try listening to them and focusing on my brother a bit more. All you need is love. Love is the Answer. Cmon people now - sing a corny song and give yourself a break. Anybody up for starting a commune?
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